Isabel
by ice blue1
Summary: Songfic of Dido's Isobel. Isabel lives out the tragic destiny she made for herself in her previous life... Please R&R please! =) I fixed the formatting and added two chapters!!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:I don't own Roswell. If I did, well, I'd be ten times richer and a thousand times happier. The song _Isobel _is Dido's.

A/N:I fixed the formatting so it's less confusing. And I intend to write a prologue. Was going to do it now but I'm being yelled at to go offline so I'll do it some other time. If this is weird, or seems that it has absolutely no connection to the summary, the prologue will make it clearer. So, until that time, please bear with me… Review!!! Give me constructive criticism, please! I know I need it! J 

ISABEL

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I thought it was strange 

when you missed the train

When I rang you at home

They said you'd left yesterday

"What?" Liz practically shouted into the receiver. She wasn't sure if she had heard right. Her eyes widened as her best friend, Maria, repeated the news. Maria's voice was shaking and Liz could her in it barely suppressed tears.

"I'll be right there," she promised. She put down the phone and looked hurriedly around the room. She began to get nauseated as she remembered what Maria had said. 

"Think rationally, Parker. It's okay, it's okay," she muttered to herself. She attempted to go to the door but halfway there she swayed, and she grabbed onto the edge of her desk, which she had neatly arranged for the studying she had planned for that night.

Sitting down slowly on her bed, she took a few deep breaths and tried to sort the situation out. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen Isabel at school for the past couple of days. She hadn't taken much notice of the fact, thinking probably Isabel was sick or something. She shuddered. She had forgotten that aliens don't get sick.

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Maybe if they knew… she thought. Guilt rose in her chest. This was all her fault. She shouldn't have kept it a secret. 

"I should have told them."

Maybe then this wouldn't have happened.

__

I thought it was strange

When your car was found

By the tree in Ennis

Where we used to hang around

"What exactly happened?" Michael demanded, his voice shaking with a mix of anger and fear.

"Isabel didn't come home last night. The other day she said she was spending the night at Tish Okabe's house. She didn't call last night, so my parents rang up Tish. She had no idea where Isabel was," Max replied. 

"How could you let her do that, Maxwell? How could you let her out of your sight when you knew- when we all knew- that Nikolas was after her?" Michael's voice had risen now. He stood up from his position on the floor and walked over to the fireplace.

"I know I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I tried to convince her not to go, that it was dangerous, but she didn't listen. She insisted it would just be a girls' night out… perfectly safe." Max looked up at his image in Michael's mirror in disgust. "It's all my fault."

There was silence in the room for a moment. Then the doorbell buzzed. They all jumped.

"It's Alex!" they heard from outside. 

Maria ran to the door to let Alex in. "Alex!" she exclaimed. "What took you so long?"

"What happened?" Alex demanded.

"Max let Isabel go over to Tish's house the other night. Except now it turns out she was never there." He turned to Max. "Nikolas could've gotten her."

He closed his eyes. His head was suddenly pounding strangely. Images of Isabel, hungry, alone, ran through his brain. He tried to push them out. Instead, images of Isabel with Nikolas flooded into his brain. Being forced to give out their secrets. Being tortured. Getting hurt.

His Izzy… he had to save her.

"We've got to find her!" he shouted, his eyes flying open. "Wait- how could Nikolas have gotten her?"

"Well, it could've been after she left Tish's…on her way home…" Maria suggested.

"No. Tish said she hadn't seen Isabel since school the other day. That means it must've been before then," Max countered.

"So you mean Isabel was lying about staying over at Tish's? Why would she do that?" Michael asked.

"Maybe she was forced…" Tess tried.

"Isabel wouldn't to that!" Michael exclaimed angrily. "She might've been forced to go, but she wouldn't lie so easily! She would've gotten it across to Max that she was in trouble!" Actually, Michael was trying to convince himself. What if Nikolas had tortured her enough to make her stoop to that?

"You're right," Max said. "She wanted to go… she didn't ask. She informed me, firmly, even coldly, that she was going. Which was typical Isabel. If the situation had been weird she'd have acted differently from normal, to let us know that things weren't right."

"So…why would she lie to go with Nikolas?"

Then Alex spoke.

"Maybe… maybe her disappearance didn't have anything to do with Nikolas at all."


	2. Liz

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Dear Isobel, I hope you're well

And what you've done is right

Oh it's been such hell I wish you well

And that you're safe tonight

It's been a long day coming

And long will it last 

When it's last day leaving

I'm helping it pass

By loving you more

Everyone started at the same time.

"What would've possessed her to do that?"

"She'd tell us!"

"Don't be too sure…"

Alex's world whirled. When he had made the suggestion, it hadn't seemed possible. Only now was he hit by the possible truth of his words.

Why would Isabel do that? Could it be because of him, and their relationship? Maybe if he had tried to talk to her, to get back beyond her guard. She had let him in before, only to shut him out again. He had just let her be. If only he had been more persistent!

"Could that really be?" Maria wondered aloud.

"I don't know. I can't see any reason why she would've done that." Max said.

"Isabel always seemed so perfect… the perfect girl," Tess said.

"That was because she didn't let people inside. To the world she was an ice princess. Perfect, but distant. Up there. When you get to know her, you realize there's more to her than that." Alex explained.

"Why, Alex? Do you know something you're not telling us?" Michael demanded.

"No…I just," he bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling. "I just wish I did."

Just then, the doorbell buzzed again and it was Liz. She came in, wrapped in layers of clothing, but she was shivering still.

"I---" her teeth were chattering.

"I have something to tell you."

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And who he would become

All the things he'd have done

And would he have loved you

And not let you down?

"Sit down," Max told her gently. "You're shivering." He put a protective arm around her. "Somebody get Liz a cup of tea."

Tess, nearest to the kitchen door, went in. She looked around for tea but Michael didn't have any. Instead she mixed a packet of hot chocolate with cold water, and used her power to heat up the molecules. She took the steaming cup out to the living room, where Liz was talking.

"Isabel had a problem. She was unhappy," Liz looked around at the faces surrounding her. "She told me that…that…she just wanted it all to end. But she didn't tell me why. Thanks," she said to Tess, who had handed her the hot chocolate.

"What? Since when have you known this?" Michael demanded.

"Around the time she had that confrontation with Congresswoman Whitaker- after her party. I chanced upon her in her room one day, crying. She told me that…"

Tess stared at Liz. She was talking, her brown eyes unfocused, looking straight ahead into the fire. Her hands encircled the cup Tess had given her, as if trying to draw its warmth into her body, but she was shivering all the same.

"But she didn't tell me what it was about…"

Tess found herself thinking about Liz. Why had Isabel confided in her, a mere human girl? Tess and Isabel had more in common than Liz and Isabel. They shared things beyond the normal human comprehension. It should've been _Tess _Isabel had gone to, not Liz. The bond between them, the bond created by a common home, a common heritage, was greater than any bond Isabel could've had with a human. Wasn't it?

And Max…

Tess stared into Liz's brown eyes, the eyes that had stolen Max away from her. Although Max said he and Liz were over, and that they must follow their destiny, when he looked at her she always knew where his heart really was. It was unfair. It was really unfair.

How could a human have all that was rightfully Tess's? All Tess had ever wanted was to be with Max…to live out their destiny as King and Queen. She had wanted a friend who was like her. A girl friend, with whom she could talk over anything and everything, including those things humans didn't know about. She had wanted only that. And now Liz was the one who had them.

She had thought that Max couldn't feel for a human what he seemed to feel for Liz. She had thought only someone like them could fill the place in his heart which he filled in hers. But she had been wrong. All throughout her lonely childhood on Earth she had dreamed of the day she and Max would be reunited. She had thought of every possible scenario.

But she hadn't thought of this…

Max's words brought her back to Earth.

"That's all very well, but we still don't know what happened to her. Where could she have gone?"

Then Maria spoke, in a small voice.

"I think… I think maybe I know."


	3. The Car Ride

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And would he be stronger

Than his father

Don't punish yourself

Leave it well alone

Maria was silent in the car on their way to the Granilith. That was okay, since Michael, who was driving, was silent too. She could see how tense he was by the way he was gripping the steering wheel. Max, Liz, Alex and Tess had taken the jeep. She and Michael were following in her car. 

Michael coughed. She glanced at him. He glanced back. Then he turned his attention back to the road.

Maria found herself thinking of what she had told the group earlier…what she should have told them long before.

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She had stayed in school late to finish a project. Her partner in bio had gone and left her alone again, so she had worked on it alone in the bio lab. On her way out, she passed a few of the cheerleaders leaving; they had just finished practice. She thought maybe Isabel needed a ride, so she had taken a detour and gone into the girls' locker room.

At first the room seemed empty, and then Maria noticed Isabel's gym bag lying on a bench.

"Isabel?" she called. 

Silence. 

She called Isabel a few more times. Then, when it seemed like she really wasn't there, she turned to leave.

"Maria?" Isabel's voice called out. It sounded soft and timid, so different from her usual strong, confident voice.

"Isabel, where are you?"

A sound came from one of the showers. Maria walked over and pushed open the door slowly.

What she saw surprised her. Isabel was sitting hunched up on the floor of the shower, in her full cheerleader's uniform. Her deep blue eyes were wet with tears, and her glistening blond hair was falling out of her ponytail. The perfect smile which characterized Isabel's face was nowhere in sight.

"What's wrong, Isabel?" Maria asked, putting her arms around her friend.

Then Isabel had broken down and told her the whole story.

"Lately I've been getting these memories. It started when Whitaker told me about my being Vilandra- about my betraying my own brother, my own people. I rebelled at first. Thought she was lying. 

I-- I thought that there was no way I could've done that.

"Then suddenly I began to remember. At first it was all happy thoughts- the palace, my parents, my brother. I remembered my childhood…it was a happy one. The…the people loved and trusted their princess…me. Then…then I betrayed them…"

Isabel buried her head in her hands and continued her story.

"When I was around seventeen, I met Nicholas. I was engaged to Michael, but I didn't love him- just as a brother, as I do now. I rebelled against my father, my destiny. Nicholas was the head of the rebellion. He was…he was so dashing…so handsome. He just swept me off my feet…"

Isabel tried to give a small laugh through her tears.

"…so different from how he is now. I fell in love with him. But there was no way father would ever approve of our affair. He told me there was a way we could be together and…and that was if the rebellion succeeded. He convinced me that the rebellion's cause was right. That…that it was my father who was wrong. And I believed him…I was so blinded by love.

"Then father died and Max became King. I was angry at him because…it seemed to be like he had no mind of his own. He…he was…just following blindly in my father's footsteps without even checking if what he was doing was right. By then I…I was psrt of the rebellion. Nobody knew… I think Michael suspected, sometimes, but he never told anyone.

"Then Nicholas told me that I had to do something for him… Or else the rebellion would fail. He said that if I didn't we'd be separate. If I didn't Max would kill him…or worse, he would leave me. But I had to betray my brother.

"So many sleepless nights did I spend trying to figure out what was right! Deep inside I knew that Nicholas was wrong, but the thought of never seeing him again… I couldn't bear it. So I followed Nicholas, and betrayed Max. I did what _I _wanted…not what was right for my people.

"W will never forget Max's face when he found out I had been the one who revealed his plans to Nicholas! It was so…hurt. Like he couldn't believe it of his sister. Michael, too, felt betrayed. Even if we didn't love each other like that, we had been close since childhood, and I had never kept a secret from him before. I let down my people.

"You should have seen what I saw- the thousands of innocent civilians who were killed in the war. Because of me. The very people my family has sworn to protect died…and I killed them. But still I was unrepentant. Because now more than ever Nicholas was paying attention to me… giving me all I had wanted… and I was so selfish that that was all I thought about. 

"Then, in the end, Nicholas left. He said he'd come back for me, and I believed him. I really did. I waited months for him…not taking any notice of the war around me, just waiting…waiting…

"When all my family's defenses were weak… Nicholas' people came to the palace. I thought they had come to bring me to him. They had orders to take The Royal Four- Max, Tess, Michael and I-- to their leader. Nicholas. I wa overjoyed. I thought…I thought I'd see him again, and that I could convince him to free the people I loved most- my brother, my best friend, and my sister-in-law.

"But I was wrong. When we got there Nicholas treated me as if he had never seen me before. That's when I realized he was using me. He ordered them to kill us four…but he spoke to me first. He… he mocked me. He told me he had thought I was above betraying my own blood…that he had doubted I'd do it, but that I had done it. I wasn't the woman he thought I was. He said he really did love me…and he would have gone on loving me if I'd had more sense of loyalty. Then he laughed cruelly. I pleaded with him to spare my only family- just kill me, not them. But he refused.

"That night my mother's people came and tried to free us. They took us to out mother but there was nowhere safe for us to hide… Nicholas' spies were everywhere, for I had provided them with a detailed description of my family's secret hideaways. So our essences were preserved…and sent here to Earth. Our memories were erased--I remember that well, it felt as if everything I held dear was one by one being wrenched away from me, till I couldn't even remember them. They were to come to us when it was time.

"And now, it seems, it's my time. And I remember now, clearly, what exactly happened… it hurts me. You cannot imagine the unbelievable guilt I have to bear now… the thought that if it weren't for me, my planet wouldn't be living in slavery now…all this… wouldn't have happened. Oh, how I wish I had never met Whitaker! And Nicholas! When I saw him first he seemed so familiar… now I know why…it's all my fault, it's all my fault…"

Maria hugged Isabel and patted her hair, at a loss for words. She had had no idea. "It's okay, Isabel… it was all in a past life… it's over now… It wasn't your fault. Nicholas blinded you. Don't…don't punish yourself…"

"I only punished myself for not making him love me before…I thought that it was my fault things didn't work out between us…now I know that isn't my fault. But a far greater, more painful thing is…"

"Isabel…"

"Maria, you have to promise me you'll never tell this to anyone, not even Liz. And especially not Max."

"But Isabel…"

"Promise me!"

"I promise," Maria had said softly.

Isabel had buried her face in Maria's shoulder, sobbing. "I can't take it anymore…I can't take it…it all has to end…"

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Maria shuddered from the memory. It seemed almost as if she had relived it again, and that she had just dropped a dry-eyed, perfectly-groomed, pale Isabel at the Evans' home after her confession. They had never spoken of it since then. Yet sometimes, Maria caught a look in Isabel's eyes. As if she were pleading to be freed from some internal hell. She reproached herself now for not telling Max. For not telling anyone.

Michael pulled to a stop. "We're here," he announced. Maria was surprised. She hadn't been paying attention to the road. When she saw the cave she was suddenly filled with a sense of foreboding. Something terrible was going to happen here.


End file.
